Shabbat of Inclusion
February 5, 2010
Yitro –Exodus 18:1-20:23
Susan Wiener
There are many times Moses struggles with the task at hand given to him by God. He feels he is not a man of words nor eloquence for the job. In Exodus we begin with the story of the burning bush. God instructs Moses that he is to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and to the land of Canaan. When Moses protests his inadequacy for the task, God gives him a sign through which he is to convince the Israelites and Pharaoh. His brother Aaron is appointed to be his spokesperson. Although I am certainly no Moses and would not even begin to compare myself to Moses I can relate to the feeling of inadequacy for the task…..at hand.
As you may know February has been designated Disabilities Awareness Month. The goal is to raise awareness, within the Jewish community, of people with disabilities and the issues of disabilities and inclusion in general. When talking to Rabbi Jacobs about Disabilities Awareness Month he asked me if I would give the D’var Torah tonight. I at first was not sure that was what he asked…..me…… you want me to do that…. I of course said no, I was not up to the task. He said, “Think about it.” Several weeks went by and I figured I was safe now but then he asked again. Lucky or maybe not so, I was really cranky that day and told him it was not the time to ask me to do anything. See you can say “no” to the Rabbi when he asks….well at least for a little while. I had wondered what the portion for inclusion Shabbat was…..Yitro my son Jacob’s Torah portion for his Bar Mitzvah – one year from now….a sign….
So, time passes, and, wouldn’t you know? Here I am. It turns out that Tonight’s Torah portion, Yitro, is all about inclusion.
Jethro, priest of Midian, Moses’ father in law, heard all that God had done for Moses and Israel, God’s people, how the Eternal had brought Israel out from Egypt. So Jethro sent word to Moses, “I, your father in law Jethro, am coming to you, with your wife and her two sons. Moses went out to meet his father in law, he bowed low and kissed him: each asked after the others’ welfare, and they went into the tent.
The relationship between Jethro and Moses beautifully illustrates the way to treat people with equity and how to be open to diversity. Not only did Jethro accept Moses for who he was, he offered him his daughter. Let’s face it: Moses was often an outsider who did not always fit in. Moses had a speech impediment was often excluded; he traveled from place to place trying to fit in; and, did I mention, there were some behavioral issues. For example, Moses was about 40 years old; he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew slave, and he was so outraged that he struck and killed the Egyptian (Ex. 2:11-12). But when both his fellow Hebrews and the Pharaoh condemned him for this action, Moses was forced to flee from Egypt. Another time, Moses was told to speak to a rock to get water from it, but instead he struck the rock repeatedly with a rod, showing improper anger and a lack of faith (Num. 20:7-13). So Moses wasn’t perfect. Like any man, he had his flaws and his moments of weakness, and the Bible faithfully records these shortcomings.
The next day, Moses sat as magistrate among the people, while the people stood about Moses from morning to evening. But when Moses’s father in law saw how much he had to do for the people he said “what is this thing you are doing to the people? Why do you act alone, while all the people are standing about you from morning until evening. Moses replied to his father in law “it is because the people come to me, and I decide between one person and another, and I make know the laws and the teachings of God. But Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “The thing you are doing is not right; you will surely wear yourself out, and the people as well. For the task is to heavy for you; you cannot do it alone” (Ex. 18:13-18).
Moses follows Jethro’s advice, and Jethro returns to his own land in Midian.
When I read that I immediately thought about us at WRT. Our clergy and staff embody inclusion. It is the fabric of who they are, of what WRT stands for. But many with disabilities or family members of those with disabilities don’t always feel welcome even in a congregation that celebrates inclusion. For a culture change to occur, our clergy cannot do it alone. We need to empower others in this task. Jethro instructed Moses to empower those who fear God--not those who fear people.
How do we as a congregation ensure that those with disabilities are given a place in our community? It is important to recognize and accept that we all have differences and make an extra effort to include all members of our community in all facets of synagogue life, worship, community, and education.
Many of us have no prior experience with interacting with people with different kinds of disabilities. Attitudinal barriers are the hardest to change, but they can be changed. We are often uncomfortable when we see someone in a wheelchair. Some of us are uncomfortable reaching out to a fellow congregant who may feel on the outside because of his or her disability. These feelings of isolation don’t always occur because of a disability. It may be someone who may have just experienced the loss of a family member, or a new cancer diagnosis, and who doesn’t know where to turn… and who may not feel fully embraced anywhere.
Some would argue that my son Jacob’s disabilities make him less than perfect. There are times when we feel like outsiders, even I, even here at WRT. As a parent we look for that sameness, that “perfect-ness” we hope each of our kids will achieve. Was I to throw Jacob out because he was different, or did Jacob’s differences have something to teach me and those around him? I would argue that having Jacob, especially as a third child, has taught me more than I can tell you here today. It has taught me to slow down and to and appreciate him for who he is. I take notice of his achievements and I am there to help and support him with his struggles. He has taught me that it is okay to sing loud and yes, off-key, at services, as he participates with joy. Jacob has taken me on a journey where I have met people I would most likely not ever have met. He is why I am here today. But most importantly I have the opportunity to help make a difference in our community by helping to raise awareness for the next Jacob and his family. We need to raise awareness so everyone can feel included. Our rabbis and cantors cannot do the work alone.
I challenge each of us to open our eyes, open our hearts, and open our mouths. I challenge each of us to step out of our comfort zone and reach out to all the members of our community. Those in mourning, those with disabilities, those who just lost a job……those who are sitting alone at services, those who may be standing alone at the oneg, those who are afraid to come in the front door.
As Reform Jews, we affirm the importance of inclusion. Our communities are open to those who would like to join us. Our communities have extended a welcome to individuals and groups who were once permanently outside the camp: intermarried couples, gay men, lesbians, and children born to Jewish fathers but not Jewish mothers. Our efforts toward inclusion are a reflection of our ongoing commitment to tikkun olam, repairing the world.
Today’s Torah portion demonstrates that each of us should acknowledge that people have differences. It is wrong to exclude or make fun of others who are different. Rather, we should welcome and befriend those who are different.
My eldest daughter Tracey recently wrote an essay for school about her brother. In it she shared the pain she feels when others exclude and make fun of him.
“To some, siblings can be a pain or even a burden, but for me my brother was more of an inspiration and a role model. My brother and I have a relationship that not many people have with their siblings, especially with such an age difference. For me being the big sister has been hard. My brother has ADHD as well as other learning and behavioral issues that have caused him to live a life that a ‘normal’ child would not have to experience. Watching him go through what he has been going through has changed me and made me who I am today. I’ve watched him be made fun of and treated differently because of how he acts and how he behaves in certain situations. It hurts me to see how some other people react to him when he is loud or impatient. I can’t express how proud I am of my brother for how he has handled this sort of discrimination. Maybe he doesn’t know exactly what is going on but he knows that he isn’t doing the same things as other kids his age. Having the type of relationship I have with my brother is one that many don’t understand. Believe it or not, my friends, people my own age make jokes about my brother and his behavior when they see him. But what hurts most is when an adult makes unkind observations or accusations because of his or her ignorance.”
I hope Tracey’s words humanize the need for us as a community to consider how our actions toward those who are different have an enormous, far-reaching impact on everyone.
It was Chassidic master Yehudi HaKadosh who said, “Good intentions alone not accompanied by action are without value. The main thing is the action, as this is what makes the intention so profound.”
Raising understanding and awareness of issues related to disabilities, both physical and cognitive, reinforces core Jewish values- most importantly that each of us are created in the image of God, B’tzelem Elohim, and thus worthy of infinite respect.
“You shall have no other gods besides Me.” We are all created in God’s image. These values are embedded in the very first of the Ten Commandments. Which, it so happens, we also find in this week’s portion.
Shabbat Shalom!
I am so sorry that I am unable to hear this incredible D'Var Torah by Susan. Having worked with problem and handicapped children in my practice and on a hospital dental service many years ago my heart is open to these children and adults as well. Susan's depth of understanding and feeling manifests itself in her commentary. There can be no greater gift than the compassion and understanding that she exhibits. Her son Jacob is blessed with the presence of an Angel from the heavens. Susan has truly been touched by G-d.
ReplyDeleteThese comments about "reaching out" are from the weekly comment on the Meaningful Life Center's web site;
ReplyDeleteThe expression "reach out and touch someone" should really be "reach in and touch someone," because in order to touch someone one must first reach inside himself, inside his heart and soul, and then his "words that come from the heart will enter into the heart of another." This formula is: The further one wants to reach out, the deeper he must first reach in.